im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
