Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
