But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
