tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
