Nicole vs. Life
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
