oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
