this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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