I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
