why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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