woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
