remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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