that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
