The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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