stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
