I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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