wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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