Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
