Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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