so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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