Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
