I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
