She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
