i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
