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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
