And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
