At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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