Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize