I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I AM VODKA MAN
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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