It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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