yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
