I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
