did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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