omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
