I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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