I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
