you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
