The maid of honor just puked.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
