roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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