STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
