whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize