then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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