words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
