The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
