he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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