I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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