somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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