I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
