You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
