Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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