Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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