Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
