windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
