I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
