HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
