She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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