she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My feet surprised me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
