tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
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