Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
