i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
