Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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