census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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