I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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