Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
